Moore vs. Coulter - Who Hates America More?

The other night I was having dinner with Michael Moore and Barbara Streisand in our favorite Upper West Side elitist French restaurant and drinking expensive imported French wine. We were having our monthly meeting where we sit around and plot how to outlaw God and replace school nurses with abortion Doctors. After dinner, we broke out a bottle of good Russian vodka to toast the good ol' days of the USSR and our regrets of not defecting to it before the wall came down. Sucking on cheaply produced Chinese filterless cigarettes, we drank and laughed the night away. Knowing the plight of the proletariat was only going to get worse under the crushing boot of Bush led bougiose capitalists, laughter has been a rare occurrence in our liberal circles, so we cherished every moment in our waning days of moral superiority. Around the point that we had drained a good two thirds of the bottle and our tongues were loose from the effects of clear and icy-sweet soviet nectar, I hit the two of them with the "big one." I asked them why they hated America so much? The conservatives had been pegging the two for years, but no one had ever given me a reason. What made them turn their backs on the country of birth? While each had a different answer as too why they hated America, they were both very eloquent and quite persuasive as the Hollywood types so often are. In the end, they both agreed on the fact that America sucks and always will suck. But, alas, I finally knew what drove them to such loathsome contempt for the U.S. of A.

I was sworn to secrecy that night about the reasons why their hatred of America is so visceral, but I am willing to break my vow of silence if some Neo/TheoCon is willing to share with me the reasons Ann Coulter hates America so much, too. After all Fascist have as much distain for democracy as those pinko-commie-bastards, right? She distains every part of the bill of rights other than the 2nd amendment. She does not believe in freedom of speech (except her own). She has contempt for freedom of religion and right to assemble to redress the government. She has never met a warrant she didn't like. The right to privacy is a mere privilege to be awarded to only those Americans who swear allegiance to the theocratic/neo-conservative movement. I am not so sure she would not even advocating quartering troops in our homes. Not only does she not mind racism, but she encourages it. She is more misogynistic than Andrew Dice Clay after being turned down by a $10 hooker (Hickory-dicory-dock...). Although, I do have a good feeling she is a whole hatred supporter of the 21st amendment, but something tells me she would make a pretty mean drunk.

So, if anyone can tell me why Ann hates America so much, I will let you know why Moore and Streisand hate America. Quid pro quo, Clarisse... Quid pro quo.