Wednesday, November 24, 2004

Thanksgiving Thanks

Well, I am out of here for the Thanksgiving holiday. I'll be back on Monday to keep my 4 or 5 readers informed and amused. I hope everyone has a safe and happy holiday. I will be giving thanks for the many blessings I have in my life. One of them will be for liberalism in America and all the good that it has brought to our country and to the thousands of Americans who have fought the good fight...

A DAY IN THE LIFE OF MIKE: A RIGHT-WING REPUBLICAN

Mike gets up at 6 a.m. and fills his coffeepot with water to prepare his morning coffee. The water is clean and good because some tree-hugging liberal fought for minimum water-quality standards.

With his first swallow of coffee, he takes his daily medication. His medications are safe to take because some stupid commie liberal fought to insure their safety and that they work as advertised. All but $10 of his medications are paid for by his employer's medical plan because some liberal union workers fought their employers for paid medical insurance - now Mike gets it too.

He prepares his morning breakfast, bacon and eggs. Mike's bacon is safe to eat because some girly-man liberal fought for laws to regulate the meat packing industry.

In the morning shower, Mike reaches for his shampoo. His bottle is properly labeled with each ingredient and its amount in the total contents because some crybaby liberal fought for his right to know what he was putting on his body and how much it contained.

Mike dresses, walks outside and takes a deep breath. The air he breathes is clean because some environmentalist wacko liberal fought for laws to stop industries from polluting our air.

He walks to the subway station for his government-subsidized ride to work. It saves him considerable money in parking and transportation fees because some fancy-pants liberal fought for affordable public transportation, which gives everyone the opportunity to be a contributor.

Mike begins his work day. He has a good job with excellent pay, medical benefits, retirement, paid holidays and vacation because some lazy liberal union members fought and died for these working standards. Mike's employer pays these standards because Mike's employer doesn't want his employees to call the union.

If Mike is hurt on the job or becomes unemployed, he'll get a worker compensation or unemployment check because some stupid liberal didn't think he should lose his home because of his temporary misfortune.

Its noontime and Mike needs to make a bank deposit so he can pay some bills. Mike's deposit is federally insured by the FDIC because some godless liberal wanted to protect Mike's money from unscrupulous bankers who ruined the banking system before the Great Depression.

Mike has to pay his Fannie Mae-underwritten mortgage and his below-market federal student loan because some elitist liberal decided that Mike and the
government would be better off if he was educated and earned more money over his lifetime.

Mike is home from work. He plans to visit his father this evening at his farm home in the country. He gets in his car for the drive. His car is among the safest in the world because some America-hating liberal fought for car safety standards.

He arrives at his boyhood home. His was the third generation to live in the house financed by Farmers' Home Administration because bankers didn't want to make rural loans.

The house didn't have electricity until some big-government liberal stuck his nose where it didn't belong and demanded rural electrification.

He is happy to see his father, who is now retired.His father lives on Social Security and a union pension because some wine-drinking, cheese-eating liberal made sure he could take care of himself so Mike wouldn't have to.

Mike gets back in his car for the ride home, and turns on a radio talk show. The radio host keeps saying that liberals are bad and conservatives are good. He doesn't mention that the beloved Republicans have fought against every protection and benefit Mike enjoys throughout his day.

Mike agrees:
"We don't need those big-government liberals ruining our lives! After all, I'm a self-made man who believes everyone should take care of themselves, just like I have."

3 comments:

Susannity! (Susanne) said...

GREAT entry. I really enjoyed it, thanx.

Anonymous said...

If you actually think that this illustrates the causative cycle in regulatory & commercial enterprise, then it is no wonder you guys lost the election. Minimum safety & health standards are not unique to Dems or liberals. Or, for example, didn't you know that the man who got OSHA passed was a Republican from Wisconsin named Bill Steiger? I thought so.

Dingo said...

See, there you go confusing Republican/Democrat with Liberal/Conservative. William Steiger was a very forward looking politician who you cannot classify in today's labels. OSHA was passed in 1970 when the lines between republican and democrat where much different. Steiger was also forward looking and proposed a cut in capital gains tax in '76, something I also whole heartedly thank him for. That opened up capital markets to tremendous growth. At the time, this was not a "conservative idea" by any means, but economic theory. But none-the-less, OSHA is a liberal idea, not conservative.