Bush Acquits DeLay

I liked this one from Benquirer. Don't worry. It is a joke.... or is it....

WASHINGTON - Exactly two weeks after being summoned for jury duty in Texas, President Bush has already fulfilled his civic duty - from a remote location - an underground FOX News bunker.

In his interview with FOX News yesterday, Bush gave fellow Texas Republican Tom DeLay the verdict of not guilty, clearing him of all charges of money laundering, two weeks before DeLay's trial is scheduled to commence. Tom DeLay's aides spent Thursday morning leafletting Austin with photocopies of the newspaper headlines showing the President's verdict.

DeLay's lawyer Dick Deguerin is advising him to pin the newspaper article to his chest during the trial proceedings, an old trick he learned from Charles Manson.

FOX News' Brit Hume commended Bush for fulfilling the civic duty of serving on a jury, only two weeks after his summmons. Although he has refused to comment on the ongoing investigation in the cases of Frist, Rove, Libby, and Cheney, Bush said he was confident that he had seen all the evidence in the DeLay trial.

Hume then compared Bush to Cincinnatus, for taking time off from war to fulfill his civic duty, and then humbly returning to war.

Texas Judge Pat Priest said that he will consider declaring a mistrial even before the trial begins. Considering the President's credibility, Judge Priest believes Bush's declaration of "not guilty" may bias the jury against DeLay.