Wednesday, May 31, 2006

From the Makers of Bad Idea Jeans

Some things may sound good when you are sitting around a table, knocking back some brewskis with the buds, but on second thought, aren't the brightest ideas. I am pretty sure that is how "New Coke" and "Chia Pets" came into being.

Well, the Pentagon just came up with their own version of Pepsi's bad idea of "Brown and Bubbly" as an advertising campaign (and if you have no idea what I mean by brown and bubbly, there is a very good reason).

The Pentagon wants to attach non-nuclear warheads to the tips of the Trident II submarine launched missiles. This would enable us to hit almost any target in the world within an hour. On first glimpse of the plan, that seems pretty good. We can get info and act on it swiftly to defeat our enemies.

There is only two teensy-weensy little problems.

First, and I think a killer within itself, is its $31,000,000 price tag per missile plus the half a billion price tag to convert the missiles. So, if used against a terrorist camp (as one of the possible uses proposed by the Pentagon) we would be deploying a $31 million dollar missile to blow up a couple of tents, an '81 bronco and a Zenith TV.

The second and really, really important problem - You can't tell the difference between a non-nuclear tipped Trident II missile from a nuclear tipped Trident II nuclear missile by radar or other means until after impact. And, also due to the flight path, unless you are the launcher, you can't tell were the damn thing is going until shortly before impact. This means if we were to launch one against the North Koreans, the Russians and the Chinese would think that it was coming at them. We launch one at somewhere in Afghanistan, Pakistan may think it is coming from India (or vice versa). One of these missiles could easily set off WWIII. Just the fact that Rumsfeld is 100% behind the idea has got to mean it is stupid.

Now, this may not be as bad of an idea as the "doomsday device" in Dr. Strangelove, but is is damn well close.

Pentagon Seeks Nonnuclear Tip for Sub Missiles

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