Monday, September 19, 2005

Not one of New York's Finest...

... Finest moments.

Let me start off by saying I have the utmost respect for NYC cops. This is just a humorous occurrence that I thought would be good to post.

So, I was sitting in un-disclosed corner Pizza Parlor on the Upper East Side of New York, grabbing a slice with L. We were sitting at a table in the back of the un-disclosed Pizza joint. To L's back, there was a uniformed female New York police officer cleaning up her ticket book, or doing some other type of paper work in the little black book they all carry.

Out of the corner of my eye, I see something scuttle along the floor. I look and it is a tiny little field mouse. Not a rat mind you, but the ones with the big ears and small bodies.

"hey, look, we have a visitor." I say. L turns to look, but by that time it had scurried back underneath the crevice in the door leading to the basement. I don't think L believed me, because the crack under the door was quite small. We continued to eat our slices.

Then, our little friend returned and sat in the middle of the floor, looking straight at us, saying with its big eyes, "look at me, I am a cute little mouse... feed me... pwweeeease." You know, the cute little look a puppy gives you as you sit at the kitchen table, eating your lunch.

L looks at the mouse and says, "awww, how cute."

Apparently the cop overheard our conversation because she turned and looked, also. As soon as she saw the mouse, she jumped up, knocking over her chair. Her hand went directly to her holster.

There they were, cop and mouse, staring each other down, eye to eye. Her hand, ready to draw her side iron if the mouse so much as flinched.

I ask her if she is going to shoot it? She looks at the mouse, then her gun, then to the mouse again.

"Good point," she says and then moves her hand away from her gun and further along her belt. Without letting her eyes leave those of the mouse, she pops the button on her pepper spray and pulls is from its pouch. She holds it in line with the mouse. Very slowly, she blindly reaches with her other hand for her book on the table. The mouse still looks at her saying, "What? Aren't I cute? Feed me pwetty pwease."

The cop slowly backs her way to the door, never letting the mouse out of her sight. She reaches out behind her to feel for the door, pepper spray, still leveled and ready. The door, now opened, she turns and sprints out the door.

No warning to the establishment's owners... No nothing...

The mouse, seeing that the excitement is over, heads back under to door.

L and I go back to eating our slices, both of us knowing that this woman would take down a criminal without blinking, but was scared to death of a little field mouse.

11 comments:

Sigmund, Carl and Alfred said...

Good post- even if you were eating pizza on the wrong side of the park.

Dingo said...

I am not going to hop a bus, go across town and up twenty streets every time I want a slice...

MaxedOutMama said...

Dingo, this was very well written - I really got a vivid mental picture of the action. I have rarely laughed this hard!

ilona said...

doggone you're funny, Dingo!
-even in the comments:)

...now if you were talking spiders I know many a woman that would side with the officer;) Or use the pepper spray( it's that automatic response, thinking "bugspray must spray with bug spray".
Not me of course... I garden and just the other day...well... I'll save it for my garden journal post.

Loved this story of yours.( thanks to MoM for sending me here)

Dingo said...

I am glad y'all enjoyed it. I know the incedent made me laugh for quite some time.

Greg in Allston said...

One of NY's armed finest scared of a tiny mouse. She was ready to use lethal force against such a threatening monster. Yikes!! It sure is a good thing that she realized the error of her ways and got out the mace instead, covering the little critter while beating a hasty retreat. Now that's good police work I tell ya. To call her pathetic, cowardly and irrational would be understatement. And these are the kinds of people entrusted with lethal force to use their good judgement to uphold the laws and protect the citizens of NYC? Bravo!!

BobG said...

Good thing it wasn't a rat, she would have had to call for SWAT.

Crotalus said...

Good grief!!!! And the Bradys say she and her cohorts are the only ones fit to carry guns?!?!?

Anonymous said...

So.

Did you feed the mouse or not??

Wendy Weinbaum said...

I like guns AND pizza! As a Jewess in the US, may I suggest that perhaps our Senators could tie the US House bill restoring gun rights to Washington, DC, to the big Wall Street bailout bill? In any case, let's all put our 2nd Amendment FIRST!! America wasn't won with a regsterd gun!

Anonymous said...

As a firearm trainer I work with a police trainer--a totally cool dude who would NEVER pull a piece on a hungry mouse. And now we will mention to students never to do this, unless the mouse were armed.

brutus inquisitor