Saddam and Osama Join the GOP

MSNBC's Priya David reported on a Cheney speech where his introducer began with, "When everyone asks me, the country's so divided, so polarized, how is it that the troopers, the national troopers behind me, troopers here in New Jersey and especially the east region, can so easily make the choice that we made, I ask them this: What if by some miracle Saddam Hussein and Osama bin Laden were able to go to the polls? Is there any chance that they would be voting Republican?" Crowd: "NO!" Jones: "Who do you think they would vote for?" Crowd: "Kerry!" Jones: "And then we'd do the opposite."

By all means, Hussein and Osama bin Laden would be Republicans if they lived in the US. Lets look at the similarities.

1) Guns - I think it is safe to say both Saddam and Osama are pro-gun voters. Each one would be card carrying NRA members.

2) Taxes - Both would be in the top 2% of the wage earners. I doubt either one of them pay much, if anything in taxes. They would be all for the Bush tax cut.

3) Oil business - All three, Osama, Saddam, and George have ties to, and derive a good portion of their millions from the oil industry.

4) Freedom of Speech - All three like to limit the right of people to speak their minds in an open and respectful manner.

5) Religion - George and Osama are both extremely religious and believe that religion should drive the policies of government. George and Osama both believe that religion should be taught in schools, and Saddam believed he was god.

6) Science - All three don't like scientific progress and believe it is antithetical to how a society should function.

7) Environment - George won't sign Kyoto and I doubt that Osama or Saddam would either. Environmental issues don't appear to be the top (or even the middle) of anyone's priorities.

8) WMDs - All three are/were interested in developing weapons of mass destruction. George wants to build new nuclear bombs, and the other two want them also.

9) Homosexuals - All three anti-gay.

10) Social issues - You don't hear much about any of them talking about creating the "great society."

Hate to say this, but ideologically, the two men Republicans talk so much about hating, are one of them. There is no doubt they would vote Republican.